The beginning

We're starting a journey. As many journeys go, we don't know exactly where we'll end up. We're not even quite sure yet where exactly we're headed. I don't want to forget anything about the process. So I'm starting this blog to document the stops along the way.

My name is Katie; I am 31. I have been married for twelve years to Brandon, 32. We have a son, Joseph, who will be 7 years old in April. He is in Grade 1. Our daughter Caroline is almost 3, and is in daycare.

Since the day Joey was born, we have known that he is a very intense child. The day of his birth, a nurse attempted to listen to his heartbeat with one of those tiny pink stethoscopes, and as soon as she touched it to his skin, he screamed. At five weeks, he started displaying symptoms of reflux. As a baby, he was never happy until he started to walk - at ten months. When he did become mobile, he hit the ground running and hasn't stopped since.

He has always been super-active. Since he started grade 1, he has made really great strides in terms of reading ability, being basically a non-reader when he started in September. He has an excellent grasp of reading concepts. He has always been great with math and numbers. He loves to draw and create things with blocks.

Yesterday I had a meeting with his teacher, Mrs. K. She told me that she has some concerns about Joe; not about his intellect, not about his intelligence or his ability to learn. But she said that he is highly distractible. She said that this is only the second time in her ten-year teaching career that she has used that expression, and that she doesn't use it lightly or just toss it around.

An example she gave was during a reading session she had with Joey. She had him read to her. She spent 25 minutes with him, and had another teacher observe their interaction. In 25 minutes, he was distracted 25 times.

If Joey was fine with the way things are going, and didn't seem bothered, we might be happy to let things continue a bit, to see if age and maturity help. However, Mrs. K reports that she has noticed that he becomes easily frustrated, and that the tears come quickly when that happens.

Something Mrs. K also mentioned is that her own son suffers from ADD. That was somewhat comforting, at least, to know that she has been through similar challenges. At the same time, I don't want to allow Joey to be "pigeon-holed" into a diagnosis when it may not be the case.

So...what next? At this point, we are taking the following steps:

-Joey is currently on a "candy embargo", which I imposed for a one-month period. We're about 1.5 weeks in (this took place, obviously, prior to the meeting with Mrs. K). We'll see whether it makes any difference.

-I have an appointment with our family doctor for next month to discuss the situation with her. We may ask for a referral for testing, and Mrs. K has made a good recommendation of a psychologist in the area who does assessments.

-Mrs. K has suggested a "checklist" system for Joey to keep him on track during the school day. They will decide between the two of them, what items they would like to start with on the checklist, such as "I put my glasses on"; "I finished my work"; "I stayed in my seat".

-I think a checklist system at home would be great too, and once I get the house cleaned up (in two weeks when I'm on holidays, I will be undertaking a MAJOR sort-and-chuck operation throughout the house, to declutter and get rid of a lot of stuff) we will put a regular system in place at home too.

I feel guilty because I feel lazy. We're all busy; I work full-time, plus having the kids and I volunteer as well. Brandon is a full-time student (he is a chef-in-training) and he has busy days at school as well as homework, and we both have the responsibility of keeping the house going. I know that's no more different than many two-parent families where both parents work. There are times we just don't FEEL like getting off our asses to enforce a schedule with Joe. And I know other parents do it. I feel like I'm making excuses for myself.

Anyways, we will deal with it as it comes, and attempt to be as in control of it as we can be, for Joey's sake and for ours.