Update

So, it's been a few months since I last posted an update on Joe's progress. His teacher was using a checklist for him at school, but it didn't seem to make much difference, and so we discontinued it after a few weeks. He tried the ear protection, and it turned out to be one more thing to fiddle with. That too was discontinued.

He did have a fantastic report card; we are really proud of him. He got an A in Math (no surprise there), a C- in printing (again, no surprise at all) and the rest of his marks were Bs across the board! It's great to know that his other challenges have not been detrimental to his marks this year. He certainly has no issues with cognition and comprehension. That is a relief in itself.

Several things that have helped: the visual screen does help him. Being separated from the other kids, when he chooses to, helps as well. Turning his desk around so that he can't put his hands inside to play with whatever items he has in there, makes a big difference (he just can't resist otherwise).

We have started attending counselling at Pathways, a children's mental health agency. Our counsellor is absolutely fantastic; Brandon and I are really pleased with her. We are using the 1-2-3 Magic process with Joe. Just started this yesterday, but we're hoping it will cut down on the repeated requests we have to make in order to get him to cooperate; and reduce his arguments with us when we tell him he's not allowed to do something. He's been quite defiant in that regard and it's getting a bit ridiculous now.

He's also going to have a checklist at home, showing the things he's responsible for doing. He'll have a few chores and for those items, he'll get a small allowance. Other things, like making sure he puts his dirty socks in the hamper, or washing his hands before dinner, are simply personal responsibility items and those sorts of things need to be done every day. No allowance for them.

A friend who's son has Asperger's, has described joint compression to me and I plan to speak to his teacher to see what she thinks of it. He does have some sensory issues, but I think his is more a matter of avoiding unpleasant sensations (not liking wet clothing, for example), rather than seeking sensory input. Still, the joint compression could help him focus, so it's definitely worth a try.

We completed a Conners scale for Joe, as did his teacher. Based on that, the counsellor referred us to a behavioural paediatrician who will meet with us, and meet with Joey, and may recommend evaluation for ADHD. From there we'll know exactly what we're dealing with, and how best to proceed.

The good part of this is that Joe does seem to appreciate everything we're all doing to try to help him, particularly where it concerns school. I think school is something that has the potential to present the greatest amount of stress for him. Not many children want to stand out as "different". His teacher is fantastic in terms of stressing to the whole class that everyone learns in a different manner. Thank goodness for Mrs. K - she has been an absolute blessing to Joe and to us.

More updates to follow as we use the checklist and the 1-2-3 Magic program; and also when we get his assessment done!

Ear protection

Yesterday at school, it was suggested to Joey that he try wearing "ear muffs" - not the winter kind, but the ear protection kind, in an attempt to block out some sound. I spoke with him at length about it last night; he said it helped a bit, but that he could also hear "someone humming" in the classroom. I tend to think that this was, instead, muffled sounds of people's voices, but as long as the "humming" isn't too distracting for him, this may be a good way to give him a break from the noise. And as long as it doesn't make him a target, or make him stand out in a negative way or a way he's uncomfortable with.

The beginning

We're starting a journey. As many journeys go, we don't know exactly where we'll end up. We're not even quite sure yet where exactly we're headed. I don't want to forget anything about the process. So I'm starting this blog to document the stops along the way.

My name is Katie; I am 31. I have been married for twelve years to Brandon, 32. We have a son, Joseph, who will be 7 years old in April. He is in Grade 1. Our daughter Caroline is almost 3, and is in daycare.

Since the day Joey was born, we have known that he is a very intense child. The day of his birth, a nurse attempted to listen to his heartbeat with one of those tiny pink stethoscopes, and as soon as she touched it to his skin, he screamed. At five weeks, he started displaying symptoms of reflux. As a baby, he was never happy until he started to walk - at ten months. When he did become mobile, he hit the ground running and hasn't stopped since.

He has always been super-active. Since he started grade 1, he has made really great strides in terms of reading ability, being basically a non-reader when he started in September. He has an excellent grasp of reading concepts. He has always been great with math and numbers. He loves to draw and create things with blocks.

Yesterday I had a meeting with his teacher, Mrs. K. She told me that she has some concerns about Joe; not about his intellect, not about his intelligence or his ability to learn. But she said that he is highly distractible. She said that this is only the second time in her ten-year teaching career that she has used that expression, and that she doesn't use it lightly or just toss it around.

An example she gave was during a reading session she had with Joey. She had him read to her. She spent 25 minutes with him, and had another teacher observe their interaction. In 25 minutes, he was distracted 25 times.

If Joey was fine with the way things are going, and didn't seem bothered, we might be happy to let things continue a bit, to see if age and maturity help. However, Mrs. K reports that she has noticed that he becomes easily frustrated, and that the tears come quickly when that happens.

Something Mrs. K also mentioned is that her own son suffers from ADD. That was somewhat comforting, at least, to know that she has been through similar challenges. At the same time, I don't want to allow Joey to be "pigeon-holed" into a diagnosis when it may not be the case.

So...what next? At this point, we are taking the following steps:

-Joey is currently on a "candy embargo", which I imposed for a one-month period. We're about 1.5 weeks in (this took place, obviously, prior to the meeting with Mrs. K). We'll see whether it makes any difference.

-I have an appointment with our family doctor for next month to discuss the situation with her. We may ask for a referral for testing, and Mrs. K has made a good recommendation of a psychologist in the area who does assessments.

-Mrs. K has suggested a "checklist" system for Joey to keep him on track during the school day. They will decide between the two of them, what items they would like to start with on the checklist, such as "I put my glasses on"; "I finished my work"; "I stayed in my seat".

-I think a checklist system at home would be great too, and once I get the house cleaned up (in two weeks when I'm on holidays, I will be undertaking a MAJOR sort-and-chuck operation throughout the house, to declutter and get rid of a lot of stuff) we will put a regular system in place at home too.

I feel guilty because I feel lazy. We're all busy; I work full-time, plus having the kids and I volunteer as well. Brandon is a full-time student (he is a chef-in-training) and he has busy days at school as well as homework, and we both have the responsibility of keeping the house going. I know that's no more different than many two-parent families where both parents work. There are times we just don't FEEL like getting off our asses to enforce a schedule with Joe. And I know other parents do it. I feel like I'm making excuses for myself.

Anyways, we will deal with it as it comes, and attempt to be as in control of it as we can be, for Joey's sake and for ours.